Finding vertical where it isn't expected

 Those that know me or follow along on Stava probably notice that when I leave Edmonton on the weekends, I don't intend on hanging around on flat trails. We have enough of those in Edmonton. I seek out elevation gain and other than total activity time, elevation gain is the main stat I chase when I am out. 

So, I "gravitate" towards big climbs, which of course lead to equally big descents. Of course, having rested on Friday to travel to the mountains, I am somewhat rested and ready to race up challenging climbs. I don't complain, I don't beg for shuttles and batteries. When I am tired and when I get old and frail, I'll ride the flat trails that I currently bypass.

My main activities are mountain biking in the summer (with running and road cycling becoming more prominent) and ski touring in the winter. Ski touring obviously lends itself well to climbing. Modern mountain biking is trending more towards continuous, one way, downhill trails that require continuous climbs, rather than loops and out and backs. 

Cross country skiing has also increasingly crept into my weekend activities and although most popular trails are flat, following summer fire roads or trails along rivers and creeks. Slogging along the flats isn't interesting to me: in classic skiing, it is heavily reliant on the upper body for double poling and skate skiing is reliant on balance and fast conditions. Fortunately, there are a couple of longer climbs around and it has been fun to race up those as well. 

I am a bit of a fan of World Cup Cross Country ski racing and in the leadup to the Holmenkollen 50km race, I saw it mentioned that the course also contained 1800m of climbing. So not only are those athletes covering 50km in just over 2hours, they are also doing that while climbing 1800m! 

When you put it that way, it makes you realize that climbing is an essential component of competition cross country skiing. It's not just double poling in classic technique or riding the glide while skating! Now you have my interest. In a similar way, cross country mountain bike racing is requiring an increasing amount of downhill skill to put in fast times on the courses and at the competition level is removed from what one would think of when they picture typical cross country mountain bike riding (aka, going across the country on easier trails).

The Canmore Nordic Centre hosted the 1988 Olympics and has since been upgraded with a more modern set of competition trails that feature shorter loops. They all feature roughly 30-40m of climbing per kilometer. Like any good international governing body, FIS has created its own bureaucracy requiring that courses be certified to meet certain climbing statistics before a race can be held. Compare this to cyclocross or mountain bike, where we make changes to the course as we are setting up the night before!

This means that course maps are published, although it can be hard to find maps from the earlier days of the internet. 

At Canmore, the older loops can be up to 15km long (the 50km race had a 10km loop followed by a 15km loop) while the newer, more modern loops top out at 7.5km. While the climbing per kilometer is approximately the same, the newer courses are wider to allow for mass start racing and have shorter climbs (105m climb on an old 15km loop vs 45m on a newer loop). 

So, I was recently able to throw myself at various loops, racing 10km, 15km at a time. I was curious if having a course punctuated by climbs that I could run up and then coast a descent would actually be faster for me than double poling or skating the flats. I didn't have ideal snow conditions, but I think I might have been faster. And it was a blast. The climbing was a major portion of the loops, while the descents were a nice rest (compared to sprinting out of corners in a bike race), although requiring some commitment to go fast. 

Something I'll look forward to doing more of next winter and there are a bunch of possibilities for comparison. Classic vs. Skate. Flat vs. proper course. 

An old course map with stats and elevation profile

Dynafit Speedfit Pro Boot Review

Dynafit's TLT5 boot was revolutionary. It brought decent ski-ability to boots barely over 1kg and simplified walk-ski mode transitions. At the time, only the Scarpa F1 (with the bellows) and Garmont Masterlite (that didn't last long), were similar in weight, but well behind in skiability (for the former) and durability and simplicity (for the latter). They were light enough that I used them as 1 boot quiver for 1 year as they were as light as the F1 Race they replaced and were able to drive bigger skis like a 95mm x 187cm Dynafit Manaslu.

The design was refined slightly with the TLT6, losing the miniscule forefoot flex that didn't do much and better buckles. I skied the  TLT6 from 2014 until 2020. The liners were getting worn, and buckle hardware loose, so I looked for a replacement.

As with the skis, there were lots of options of boots around 1kg in 2020, but again, the unfavourable exchange rate made the boots seem much more expensive than I remember from 2014. And at the time, Dynafit was experimenting with boots without toe welts with the Dynafit TLT7 and TLT8. I don't use crampons very often, but it would be nice to not have to buy new hardware on top of having to buy new boots. 

Fortunately as part of their budget Speedfit line, Dynafit sold a slightly modified TLT6 in 2020 branded as "Speedfit", with both composite (fiberglass instead of carbon on my TLT6) and plastic cuff versions. Like the Ski Trab Stelvio skis, the Speedfit Pro boot brings the performance of carbon...er fiberglass at a lower price. Combined with the Stelvio skis and the Dynafit Speed Turn bindings, they make a great high performance budget setup.

There are a few notable differences between my Speedfit Pros and my TLT6. My TLT6 had the thicker liners and the lighter weight and less cuff restriction of the Speedfit liners is noticeable on the way up. The Speedfits on the other hand, lose the capability of installing a plastic tongue to stiffen up the boots for the way down. I only really used this feature of the TLT6 during infrequent ski resort days or when touring on bigger skis like. But that brings me to another knock on the Speedfits. The cuff feels less stiff, so I definitely miss being able to stiffen them up with the tongues during the rare times I feel like I need to (last lap of the day?). Fortunately, the Speedfits feature an awesome powerstrap. I never bothered with the velcro powerstraps on the TLT5 and 6, leaving them undone. My TLT5 strap didn't like being loose under my pant cuff and actually ripped itself out of the eyelets. The powerstrap on the Speedfits is a cam lock design that can be tightened by pulling on the tail of the strap (once fed through the cam) and loosened for the next climb with a pull loop. I definitely don't use the powerstrap for short laps, but it doesn't slow things down at the transition area that much for bigger laps.

So you have thinner liners, and can't install tongues to stiffen them up, and the cuff isn't as stiff to begin with, but the powerstraps are much better to use so they have that going for them. Aside from the uphill performance, which is a little bit better due to the lighter weight. Again, a decent budget boot that probably skis better than the plastic boots in the same price range.

Ski Trab Stelvio 85 Review

 I am a couple of years late and this ski is now discontinued, but I thought I would share my thoughts on this ski if you can find a pair on clearance somewhere

Before I start this review, we have to travel back in time to 2014. The Canadian dollar was at par. I had just spent a long weekend following Reiner Thoni around the three mountain ranges that surround his hometown of Valemount. I was on a 95mm underfoot, 187cm long ski weighing in at around 1700g per ski. He was on the Dynafit Cho Oyu: an 88mm underfoot carbon ski that weighed under 1200g per ski. I stood a chance when he was breaking trail, but as soon as we hit the broken trail on lap 2, he was gone. I knew I had to get a pair, and I did in the fall.

I had those skis for 6 years. They were great. They were light enough to let me get an extra lap or two in, but easy enough to ski that I could still enjoy that final lap if my legs were shot. The rocker and tip taper were not fooled by breakable crust or windslab. The tight sidecut, while quirky when trying to open it up also allowed for some fun to be had in less than ideal conditions. The 88mm waist and 182cm length offered enough float for the Canadian Rockies. All in all, a great ski. But with a such a light ski, durability was a weakness and after those 6 years, sidewalls were compressed and opening up (from hitting buried avalanche debris). So it was time to look for something new.

In those 6 years, lots of new carbon skis came to the market, but with a poorer exchange rate and 6 years of inflation, they demanded a higher price. And I would rather ski my Cho Oyu's until they explode (I still use them as rock skis) than take the weight penalty of a full wood core ski at this time.

Then I saw the Ski Trab Stelvio 85. A carbon ski for the price of a wood ski. 120g heavier than the carbon variant but cheaper. 85mm underfoot to provide that perfect compromise between weight and float for the locations I ski, similar to my 88mm Cho Oyus. I picked up the 178cm and mounted them with another great price-weight compromise: the Dynafit Speed Turn binding, for another great price-weight compromise the Dynafit Speedfit Pro boot. A brand new budget setup for hundreds of dollars less than the best carbon.

I have now put in a couple of short seasons in on these skis. Another benefit of being similar dimensions to my Cho Oyus, I was able to use the same pair of Pomoca Climb Pro skins that I have been using since 2014, with just a minor trim at the waist that does not affect their ability on the Cho Oyus during rock ski duty. The verdict is that the Trabs are still light on the uphill, but require more aggressive and attentive skiing on the way down. They are simply stiffer and with less sidecut than the Cho Oyus. In predictable snow like hardpack and powder, this is fine, but in the chop, breakable crust, or slabby snow, I'd rather be on the Cho Oyu's. That said, I am still able to get in that extra lap with fresher legs compared to a wider and heavier ski. 

Durability-wise I am not sure if my skiing habits have changed since 7 years ago, but through the 2 seasons I have used the Stelvios, they have held up a lot better than the Cho Oyus through the same period; the sidewalls are still intact. 

All in, a light, budget ski, but it doesn't live up to the skiability of the Cho Oyu. Ski Trab made the Gavia at the same time as the Stelvio which is even softer, and I would be curious to try those if they came in a 178cm.

2023 Ski Mo Canada Season Recap

Canadian skimo returned after a year hiatus during the pandemic in 2022. I was only able to race Castle in 2022, but in 2023, I returned for a full season.

Castle Mountain Skimo

Castle Mountain Skimo kicks off the skimo season every year and has recently expanded into a 3 day event with a vertical on Friday, sprint on Saturday, and the classic individual race on Sunday. 

The vertical race starts from the base of the Whiskeyjack run and finishes near the top of the Tbar, 450m later. Last year we had deep trailbreaking, this year was the opposite. A firm groomer necessitated improvised techniques near its top before gaining the cattrack. This technical element really shows who has the skills and finesse to make the skins grip and continue making uphill progress. I dangled off of Matt Ruta, who is strong this year and finished 20 seconds back in 2nd. A pretty good result for my first race back.

The sprint race is the longest running event of that discipline in Canada and the only sprint race this year. Usually, I don't mind sitting out the sprint (there are 2 previous years where I didn't race it), but with the sprint being the Olympic discipline, it is time to give it the attention that it deserves. In a sprint race, each person has to do a solo qualification run before seeding in the heats. In Canada, everyone usually qualifies for the heats, but in international competition, the qualifier is everything because we never make it into the heats! I qualified in 3rd. I then won my heat and was ready for a battle for the final. I quickly found myself on my back foot in 5th place at the top of the bootpack and it was up to giving everything on the top skinning section and a quick transition at the top to move up 3 places into 2nd.

It was a tricky snow year with a lack of snow and some cold temperatures earlier in the season but the typical Castle course was ready for us, except without the ridge bootpack. The descents were extremely firm but the snow was predictably hard. The Castle course consists of just 2 big climbs and 2 big descents. It is always good to be able to push the pace on the 2nd climb and I got to the top in 2nd. I held my position through the cat skiing area, but I was out of control on the ungroomed cat track and crashed after getting bucked. Akio a great skier and he passed me so I had to settle for 3rd. Not a bad result, I wish my skiing was better after not finding great skiing over Christmas.

Skimo Alberta Norquay Race

I attended the 1st of 4 Norquay Saturday night races. These races challenge skiers to complete as many laps as they can in 1hr, having to begin your final lap before the 1hr marker. This format is really good for dialing in transitions and finding out strengths and weaknesses. It can be frustrating because it doesn't have the long climbs to really show who has the legs, but it's a good break from the comfort zone. I had a decent race with no major mistakes and ended up winning, doing 5 laps of the ~200m course. In later weeks, the winner sometimes got in a 6th lap!

Whitewater Skimo

Whitewater is a long trip from Edmonton, but after Castle and Norquay, I was looking for another skimo fix. Whitewater was a 2 day event with a vertical race on Saturday and an individual on Sunday, which was similar course to some of the previous Roam Randonee Rally's. This course is notable for having all descents beyond the ski area boundary, which makes it a pretty special place to race.

The vertical was my first "encounter" with Jessie in 3 years. While I don't think I am quite back to my previous levels after chemotherapy, he has clearly gone beyond where I was before and he showed that all weekend. The race went up the cat track to the top of the Silverking lift, then beyond on a new cattrack to top out the ridge before a couple of switchbacks and a flat section to the finish. The vertical race started extremely hard and most of us using a skimo-running technique on the lower angle cattrack to eke out as much speed as possible. I finished 4th behind Jessie, Jeff Mogavero, and Matt, each of us separated by about 30 seconds. I have to think back to 2018 North American Championships where I haven't been right at the front of a domestic vertical race and although this lacked the glory of a podium, I enjoyed that I had been pushed by the other skiers the entire race.

10cms of snow fell before the individual and combined with softer conditions underneath, the skiing would be way better than at Castle. The race started on the same climb as the vertical the day before, except forking to the right at the ridge towards the Goat slide. I was ahead of Jeff at this point and not far behind Matt, but got lit up on the descent. I worked my way back into 3nd on the next climb, really trying to keep the speed up on the flat, traversing skin to the 2nd descent. Jeff caught me at the bottom of the final climb and I yo-yo'd behind him, but was still behind at the top of the final descent and further back at the finish, where I finished 4th again. This descent was a leg burner, but was enjoyable skiing. I think by the end of the weekend, I still wasn't feeling like I had got enough skiing in the legs this winter. 

Steep Dreams

Marmot's Revenge

The road back

I took my time getting back to activity after covid. Fortunately, I didn't really have any symptoms. I did the full quarantine for a bit, then got out for some walks. Then I started to go for easy bike rides and runs. I kept busy sorting through my old Lego bin, pulling out parts and building long lost sets from the mixture. It was time consuming enough that it kept me distracted. But I really wanted to see where I was at fitness wise because I wanted to get back to riding up mountains.

I've never really taken a long break from training that was enough to notice a drop in fitness. I've also tried to avoid pushing myself really hard while sick, hard enough that I would see how much the sickness has taken out of me. I have never found myself saying "that sickness/work trip/family trip took 10 Watts off my FTP!".

I was starting at my bottom. This wasn't a matter of some breathing obstruction disappearing. I had few red blood cells. But you have to start somewhere, so I did a ramp test. The result was about 80% of my pre-chemotherapy number. Not too bad, probably similar to the average recreational rider out on the trails. But the mountain was daunting. It was late April and if I wanted to get back to my pre-cancer levels to crush some big rides and runs by the end of August, I would need an improvement of 5W per week, 20W per month. Breaking it down like this made it seem unrealistic and impossible.

In Edmonton, the maximum height difference in the river valley is about 40m. It's not a lot to work with and serious racers only get their fix of high intensity by sprinting up them in under 1 minute. If I wanted to ride easier, I had previously been able to sit and spin up them, even if it took 2-3 minutes, it wasn't long enough to make me hurt. Now, that 2-3 minutes was pushing me over my threshold. It was eerily nostalgic of my earlier days cycling and something that a lot of recreational riders feel. It made me appreciate all of the training that I have done that has allowed me to not have to suffer up every climb. It seems weird that recreational riders are afraid of a little voluntary intensity, otherwise known as "training", and just accept that every hill they encounter will make their legs hurt!

I was at the level of the average recreational rider, but I was lacking endurance. Before, I would be able to ride at an easy for me pace for over 1 hour with little more than water and a couple of cookies. Now, I was bonking after an hour and those cookies weren't going to save me. Going for a ride now meant bringing more snacks! It was nice to encounter friends who had heard of my battle and encouraged me. Thanks for all of the messages!

I used to be able to go into a weekend, guns a blazing. Now, I had to stick to the plan, just making sure that I was putting in the right amount of hard work. Now was not the time to focus on the summits, because they wouldn't be anything spectacular at this point, but the process. All I cared about was getting back to my previous levels.

In May and June, I was actually able to manage to improve at about 5W per week. Week by week, I didn't seem to be making that kind of progress, but with regular periods of rest, my body was able to recover and produce those extra watts the next week. In early June, I was starting to feel strong again. I was the only one to complete 2 laps of the upper deck of Commonwealth Stadium (The Gristle) with the November Project, and I had a wonderful day where I ran up Opal Ridge in the morning, then cycled up to Highwood Pass in the afternoon. By Canada day weekend, I found myself back to being able to put in some solid days in the mountains. I finally felt like I was back in my element.

Then my progress stalled. I was still at least 5% short of where I was. But I was able to complete a goal that had been on my plate for a while: I ran the 55km Rockwall Trail. After a couple of years without races over the pandemic, this was the first day in a while to really take a lot out of me. It would take weeks to fully recover from, but it was so worth it.

In the fall, I experienced another setback: Reynauds syndome. My fingers and toes would go numb and white when experiencing slightly cold weather. It puts things into perspective because it is worse than not being as fast. I had to buy heated socks and mitts. I have to be careful going outside in the cold. It has taken away some enjoyment of winter.

It has been difficult to progress above the plateau. I was comparing myself to my previous all time cycling numbers, but these were from the pandemic, when I had little comparison to previous running and skiing performances at the same time. I was always a little hesitant to compare to my previous mountain running or skiing performances because I can't do such a test during an evening after work in Edmonton. I have to use one of my weekend days to test in the mountains. While I have been able to get within 5% on the bike, I seem to be a little further out on the run, especially with shorter efforts.

Typically, the Christmas break is a time when I can string together a bunch of really good skiing days to prepare for the rest of the skimo season. Unfortunately, this year the ski conditions were not very inspiring over Christmas and I felt I wasn't able to ski confidently or frequently enough. Conditions improved by the time I took my winter vacation later in February and I was able to put in some back to back days more characteristic of myself pre-chemotherapy. These days gave me the confidence that I lacked going into the later part of the race season.

Aside from some midweek bike and running races, my return to competition would be with ski mountaineering. It was 3 years since I last raced. The level of competition has increased since I last raced and I find myself in some deeper battles. I qualified for World Championships, but after lengthy contemplation, I declined because I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling like I was downhill skiing very good yet. I wasn't feeling confident that I would have the ability to survive the back to back days of competition. Lastly, I wasn't feeling like I had the ability to launch myself into uncharted territory: to improve on my previous world championships results to race in the groups that are normally ahead. Instead, I would be in familiar territory and I didn't see the point. 

The last races of the season went well at Steep Dreams and Marmot's Revenge. I capped off the season with a win in the vertical and a hard fought 2nd in the individual at Marmot's Revenge. 

After successful treatment by chemotherapy, a 5 year monitoring process begins. In the first year, there are CT scans or chest x-rays along with blood tests for the tumour markers every 2 months. As the years go on, the frequency decreases. A failed test could mean additional chemotherapy is required, likely a different, more unpleasant treatment because the cancer was able to beat the first treatment. At the beginning, I was struggling to envision myself committing to any trips or long term goals, instead focusing on making the most out of more local adventures. Now I feel a little more willing to plan ahead, though I would prefer to ideally squeeze everything into the growing gaps between tests.

Before starting treatment, I had a phone call with another cancer survivor and he said "your body won't be the same, but that's ok". I ignored and still continue to ignore this while believing I will return to my best. 

I guess in a lot of cases, people who go through a health crisis see it as a wakeup call that they need to make major changes to their life. Because factors in their life directly led to the health crisis. Perhaps I am living in denial, but nothing about the lifestyle I have led has proven to increase the risk of cancer. Instead, I feel like some of the choices in my life have been confirmed and I wish to spend more time of what could be reduced life expectancy (because of the toxic chemicals that were put in my body) doing those things I love to do and not wasting time and money doing the things I don't want to do. People have asked me how I was so motivated to come back. I guess it's because I was doing stuff I wanted to do.

Rock bottom

 I have no symptoms other than a bit of a sore throat and a fever, but I take a rapid covid test. It shows a faint line. If you are on chemotherapy and have a fever, you are instructed to go to the emergency room because your immune system is weakened and can't fight infection. I "only" had to wait for just over an hour (compared to 12hr+ waiting times. I am admitted to my own room and a blood sample and covid swab (for a PCR test) are taken. Then I am started on anti-biotics to eliminate a bacterial infection, if there was one. 

The emergency room is a contrast from the CCI. At the CCI, there are fewer patients per nurse. When the infusion pumps beep, they are quick to be attended to, whether there is air in the line or if the fluid is finished. In the emergency room, the staff have to manage many more patients. Pumps are constantly beeping and I can hear screaming down the hall, but the nurses are already busy attending to other patients! 

I spend the entire day in a room in the emergency department and it becomes clear that this might be a multi-day thing. I call to let work know that I won't be in tomorrow either. I call the CCI to let them know that I'll be missing my final chemotherapy treatment, bleomycin. I get my dad to drop off some clothes, snacks, and a book. I meet with an infectious disease doctor who is actually very interested in something that showed up on one of my heart valves during a CT scan in January. Eventually around midnight, the results of the PCR test have come in and confirmed that I am positive with Covid.

At the time I was vaccinated 3 times (and have since been vaccinated 2 more times). It was my first time having Covid, I did not know how my body would react with a depleted immune system. Blood tests prior to beginning my final cycle of chemotherapy had shown that my white blood cells were below the normal range. 

I was wheeled (along with my pump, still pumping antibiotics) to the ward for Covid positive patients. It was dark, it was late at night. Over the door read a sign that said "Intensive Care Unit". I was wheeled past rooms enclosed in glass to my curtained partition room at the very end of the hall. The head of the bed looked a little more complex with switches, control panels and places to connect cables and hoses. Nothing was plugged into any of these sockets but I was freaked out. Why was I here?

As I lied awake, I felt my chest tighten, as if something was clamping down on my entire rib cage. I was sure that I was not going to die in the hospital with help not far away, but I was wondering if this was Covid's way of taking over my body. I thought of losing all endurance abilities, never being able to even manage skinning up for one lap. 

It was here that I thought about all of the wonderful moments in mountains I have experienced in my life and how the recollections of all the views, skiing powder, and topping out climbs dominated my memories.

A lot of stuff you do in life is maintenance stuff so that you can spend time doing what you love.  A life consisting purely of those activities that you love would be considered "hedonistic", so society has a way of pressuring people to conform to some standard that only breeds mediocracy and stress. Cancer doesn't care if I make my bed everyday, pick up clothes off the floor, or clean the baseboards in my house. It doesn't care if I live my life modelled off of a 90's sitcom and go out to restaurants 5 days a week. It doesn't care if  I follow the unwritten rules. All I wanted to do was to ski again. I wanted to strip the maintenance stuff down to the bare bones. I clean the previous day's dishes so that I can bake and make food for the next day so that I can be fueled for my bike or ski.

Fortunately the tightening disappeared, but the first night was sleepless. And it turns out, it was a former ICU that was being repurposed as a covid ward.

They didn't want us sharing bathrooms because we were covid positive, but being pumped full of liquids, the jug with the desiccant bag that I was provided was soon insufficient so I staked my claim for the washroom. The women in the partition next to me had a habit of walking around naked, so I made sure to keep my curtain closed.

Although I was in better spirits after eating and napping, I still felt vulnerable. I didn't leave the house for almost a week and yet I still got sick. How long will it take my immune system to recover from chemotherapy? When I am finally discharged, will I end up back here? Binge watching Tallboyz on CBC kept me going. I did a deep dive on Instagram and found some pictures of someone (I can't remember) having fun ski touring and that reminded me of how good the days can be. My hospital stay reminded me just how vulnerable I am, and how important it was to make the most out of those moments where you do feel strong.

I was to be there for 5 days until the run of antibiotics finished. 5 days of dragging around a beeping pump and no fresh air. 5 days in the hospital because people didn't want to wear a mask in the grocery store. I had to ask to get the covid anti-viral treatments which were approved for immunocompromised people. And finally, I received an injection which magically started to increase my white blood cells back to normal levels. My parents visited me each day, they had to wear disposable robes, masks and face shields, just like the nurses in the covid ward.

In addition to my last chemotherapy treatment, it looked like I was going to miss a CT scan scheduled in a week at CCI while isolating and I was able to reschedule that to happen during my hospital stay.

Finally, after 5 days, it was time to get released from the hospital. I was to isolate in my parent's master bedroom. Fresh air was brief but fantastic. It only consisted of a short walk to the car and sticking my head out of the window on the ride. For those that have been following along on Instagram, it is here that I opened up my childhood Lego bin and began building.

Into it

I go up to the 4th floor and into a room full of lazy-boys on wheels. There are windows on 3 sides and it is well lit and not too crowded. I take my seat. A nurse comes over to put in an IV, fortunately it goes in on the first try. The first 1L bag of fluid to be administered is connected to the pump. It is just saline, intended to hydrate me to avoid hazardous side effects from the first chemotherapy drug, cisplatin. It will be pumped into me over 1 hour. There are 3 chemotherapy drugs today. How long will I be here?

Cisplatin is in a 750mL bag administered over 1hr. Etoposide is in a 750mL bag administered over 1hr. Finally Bleomycin is in a small bag that is administered over 15 minutes. Bleomycin is described as being toxic to the lungs. Lance Armstrong opted for alternative treatments to limit the effect on his career as a professional cyclist. Before starting treatment, I have done a lung function test to define my baseline numbers if anything were to happen. 

Chemotherapy drugs kill cancer by limiting cell division in the body. This prevents cancer cells from dividing rapidly, but there is collateral damage inside the body. Division of white and red blood cells and skin cells in the body is also affected by chemotherapy drugs. This is the reason for side effects such as fatigue (from lack of red blood cells to transfer oxygen through the body), being immunocompromised (from lack of white blood cells) susceptible to infections (like COVID), and cuts that heal slowly outside and inside of the body. 

4 hours later, I get back to my bike to ride home. My body feels swollen from having taken on 3L of fluid, so much that my knees hurt when I crouch down to unlock my bike. The first day, I go for a fatbike ride in the evening on the flatter Oleskiw trails. Mostly I feel bloated from the fluids. So far, side effects are excessive hiccups that keep me up at night (fortunately I can watch the Olympics on TV), the odd headache and that the couch starts to feel like it has a gravitational pull.

The first weekend, my taste buds are shot. A carrot becomes inedible. After that, just try to eat pizza and pasta, foods I enjoy. I eat waffles every morning as they are softer on the gums. I call it "living my best life" so that I don't lose weight because of a poor appetite. Fortunately, my taste comes back after a day.

One cycle for me was 3 days in a row of cisplatin and etoposide with bleomycin on the first day of those 3. Then bleomycin on 1 day of each of the next two weeks. Some blood tests to make sure that the kidneys are still functioning and blood cells are at reasonable levels then the next cycle begins. I did 3 cycles total over 9 weeks.

 In each cycle, the 3 days in a row hit hardest, but the effect is delayed until the weekend and early the next week. For instance, the Tuesday following always brought a headache and nausea, relegating me to the couch for the day. In the following weeks with just the bleomycin infusions, I start to feel better, but then the next cycle begins. 

The message throughout the treatments is to try to continue my normal levels of activity. Well, I know better than that and definitely dial it back, limiting things to 1.5 hours if I am having a particularly good day. The weekend before the beginning of the 2nd cycle, I do a 3 day stage race on Zwift. I am curious how much fitness I have lost. The first day, I start at about 95% of my pre-chemotherapy numbers, but blow up and finish at an average of about 85%. It doesn't seem like much, but it is striking how much just 1 cycle has taken out of me. The next day, I smarten up and try to pace at 85%. I'm at the back of the pack, and I see someone using the sticky-watts (exploiting the game by surging for 2-5 seconds, then easing off) cheat pass me. How pathetic. I finish the 3 days, but decide that it's not worth pushing myself for such meagre numbers.

I start to lose my hair just before the start of the 2nd cycle. The hair on the side of my head is starting to fall out, there is hair all over my pillow and my toques, so I shave the rest of my hair off. Other parts of my body and my finger nails are becoming extra sensitive.

I arrive the morning of the next cycle and there has been a bit of a mix up. After my initial weigh in, someone along the way interpreted my weight as being 90-something kg instead of 70-something kg. That means that during the first cycle I was given a much higher dosage of chemotherapy than proposed. There is a bit of a delay as they have to mix new bags at the lower dosage but I am glad that error has been caught!

After the first treatments of the 2nd cycle, I discover that the gravitational pull of the couch isn't because it has suddenly gained a large amount of mass. It is the nausea. It's not like the nausea you get when you've had a few too many beers. It feels different, but it has the same effect: it makes you want to lie down. I have been provided with prescription anti-nausea medications, but they only work so well.

I start to notice the effects of having less red blood cells. I get head rushes if I get up too quickly. My heart rate races even if I go up a flight of stairs. The stairs on my bike ride to the CCI is starting to require more from me. One day it snowed and it was a really difficult ride to get to the CCI. On the way back, the final hill out of McKinnon ravine up to 142 street always required some strategy to be able to make it up: resting on the flat section.

I didn't mind sitting on my indoor bike and grinding it out at 35-45%. Besides the Tour of Watopia group rides were going on. But I found that if I exerted myself too hard or for too long, I would get a bit of a sore throat. Nothing that couldn't be soothed with some tea, but I was always worried that that would be the precursor to something more serious.

In February and March 2022, we are still in the midst of a pandemic. Being immunocompromised from the chemotherapy makes me exceptionally vulnerable to Covid. So I've had my partner do all of the grocery shopping and I didn't go to any indoor public spaces aside from the CCI, where I've been wearing an N95 mask. 

Think about the political background at the time. February was marked by anti-mask and anti-vax, and anti-whatever (progress) occupation of Ottawa and blockades of border crossings. Basically selfish people who were fed up with having to do the bare minimum required to participate in a civilized society. I felt like I didn't have a choice about whether to put toxic chemicals inside my body and get several needles a week and these people were scared of a little vaccine. The government caved and mask mandates lifted. There goes another level of protection.

Near the end of the 3rd cycle, with one last treatment to go, I didn't have to leave the house all weekend. My parents dropped off some food, I was happy to spin for 1.5hours at a time on Zwift. My partner had gone away for the weekend to go skiing, only stopping for gas and a short grocery shop. The Tuesday after she got back, I woke up with a bit of a sore throat...and a fever.